002

[space_egg]

Now that we've exited Vespa's orbit, please make sure to re-acclimate your cabins accordingly, and take it easy for the next few days if you paid the planet a visit! Your muscles will thank you!

Additionally...



While I appreciate and support the message, I must remind our crew members, passengers, and... likely our Med Bay staff... not to vandalize EAA property. Especially with my face... Thank you.

[ooc: strikes deleted]

Comments

[apocatlypse]

I feel like the personal endorsement really helped with promoting it though. Like those celebrity endorsements. Don't you feel more inspired to buy certain types of body spray when well oiled muscled men promote it and say it's amazing?

[space_egg]

I'm hardly a celebrity... And I really, really, really don't know what you mean... a-about oiled muscle men...

[apocatlypse]

I like to buy the advertised body spray and empty cans on unsuspected passerbyers in the hopes that when they emerge from the fog of aerosols, they are muscled and oiled and confused. I have a 9% success rate so far.

Perhaps if the same was advertised by scantily dressed ladies with curves, you'd be more inspired?

[space_egg]

That raises a lot of serious risks of allergic reactions and anaphylactic shock... Not to mention potential falling injuries as a result of the greased floor...

N-neither inspire me!

[apocatlypse]

If that occurs, then clearly they weren't suitable for emerging from the sad cocoons of their mortal bodies to become well muscled and oiled men. Would you like to try? See if you are of a good enough potential?

You seem more flustered over the scantily dressed ladies. I'm thinking they inspire you. Noted, I will plaster pictures of them all over your walls.

[space_egg]

I really wouldn't...

I told you, neither of them "inspire" me! I'm expanding my definition of vandalism, and unnecessary littering qualifies!

[apocatlypse]

Well good thing I don't think the pictures of scantily dressed ladies around your walls are unnecessary.

[space_egg]

They're simply going to end up in disposal.

[apocatlypse]

What a waste. We're in a universe of finite resources, you know. You should appreciate things when they're given to you. For shame, resource-waster. Next thing you'll be telling me is that you throw away food, and don't hold your breath as long as possible every time.

[space_egg]

I can recycle the paper, or you can keep them with yourself where I'm certain they'll find more use than on my walls.

[apocatlypse]

I don't have any use for them. My virginal eyes aren't going to gaze upon the impurities of scantily dressed ladies. That would be scandalous and inappropriate.

[space_egg]

I'm sure... Then you would do us both a favor by handing them over to someone else. Fuji likes photography.

[strikes deleted]

[apocatlypse]

No no, I really do think you would benefit the most from them. Gosh golly, I need to go find some glue now.

[oncamera]

You want to send me naked pictures, Oishi?

[apocatlypse]

Apparently he thinks scantily clad ladies aren't inspiring enough for him. I vote we try different things to find the combination that really helps the man along.

[oncamera]

I did hear he likes his photographs beheaded.

[apocatlypse]

Beheaded?! Does he harvest a not-so-secret desire for blood and gore and death to stain his relationships?

[oncamera]

Or maybe he just likes to make a clean break. None of us like baggage.

[apocatlypse]

The cutting photographs in half just seems like the motions of a sad, desperate man who keeps his baggage inside himself. Maybe he should eat them and vomit them up instead. It seems like a more effective display.

[oncamera]

It would also reduce the space junk. Tezuka is upset that he jettisoned his last victim off the Karura.

[space_egg]

N-no! I do not!! I don't want to be involved in any naked pictures!

[oncamera]

Saa... just the decapitated ones?

[space_egg]

When did decapitation come into this?!

[oncamera]

You cut the head off my cardboard cutouts, Oishi. They remember. All of them.

[space_egg]

I-I told you, the head came off separately! Please don't put that thought into my head...

[strikes deleted]